Happy New Year everyone! Last year was an eventful year for me but the only thing I can honestly say is the most memorable is my pregnancy and having my daughter. There’s nothing that I’d really like to reflect on because 2008 wasn’t my year at all. I hope that 2009 is 100 times better. I have faith that it will be because I have so many plans. I won’t reveal those just yet, however, I will be updating this journal from time to time on these said changes. When the ball dropped, I could hear a lot of people outside celebrating in the streets. At first, I was a bit annoyed at the noise but I decided not to be grumpy.

Yesterday, I woke up with a bad backache and ended up having a fever of 103 later on in the day. It was so bad that I couldn’t stand or focus and my sisters had to call an ambulance to take me to the hospital. It’s true what they say, if one has the willpower, situations can change dramatically. When I arrived, there were so many people in the emergency room. There were people in wheelchairs, on stretchers and standing up. A nurse in the triage unit took my temperature and blood pressure and sent me to the waiting room. I asked her when I’d be seen and she told me — 3 to 4 hours because it was New Year’s Eve and there was a lot going on. As you can imagine, I left. I was not sitting in there waiting because I wanted to be home with my babies. The night air felt refreshing and in no time, my fever had subsided. I arrived home and took some Tylenol Extra Strength with cranberry juice, fooled around online for a bit until midnight, watched the ball drop on television, then I was ready for bed. What a night!

I have one New Year’s Resolution and that is to treat myself to nice things more often. One thing that I have always done was worry about everyone else and their needs and wants, while mine wasn’t being met at all. I do believe that this change will make 2009 a better year for me.

I’m going back to bed! I will surely update at a later date. I was going to VBlog but due to me being ill, I decided against it. Maybe the next time that I update, I will accomplish this by video. I hope that you all have a very wonderful day and don’t do anything that I wouldn’t do!

I can honestly say that my Christmas sucked. Although, I truly enjoyed watching my niece and my son open their gifts with excitement. My family is very small. My baby sister, the children (my son and daughter) and I visited my grandmother and her boyfriend (I know). Everyone practically went their separate ways this Christmas. Valerie (my other sister) went to her boyfriends house with my niece. My uncle spent Christmas with his girlfriend. My grandmother cooked dinner and she, Lee (my sister) and my grandmother’s boyfriend spent time talking and catching up a bit on things. It felt weird. Some entries way back I stated that my grandparents had gotten separated, with a pending divorce. It pretty much feels awkward not having him around during the holidays. Since my grandmother moved out, he hasn’t returned any of my calls, or anyone else in the family for that matter. We know he’s alright, because although him and my grandmother are separated, she still has family who informs her on his health and things of that nature. He just isn’t returning calls, which sucks.

I was pretty much a Grinch the whole day. I tried to enjoy myself, but I failed. People were irritating me left and right. I snapped on five people since last night and I do feel a little bit bad about it but the thing is, people often have trouble understanding things about me and how I feel because they choose to be ignorant. I have obligations as a mother. I can’t always be around 24/7 for people when they “need” me to be. I find that this has become an ongoing issue. I’ve had to address this quite a few times last night.

Read more…

Happy Holidays everyone! I hope that everyone has a very safe & merry Christmas!

My family members and I were having a discussion the other day about the different types of parents. The debate became heated as we dwelled on the topic of absentee mothers and fathers. Of course, as you may guess, the discussion involved both men and women, most were parents, including myself. Being a parent, there is not a way in hell that I would ever abandon or neglect my children. I kept thinking to myself, “How in hell could anyone ever not want to be there for their child/children?” I came to the conclusion that some people are selfish and maybe even afraid. When you have a child, your child should always be your number one priority, regardless of any type of “situation” that you may be in. Maybe I have trouble understanding why some people choose to abandon their children. If you don’t spend as much time that you have with your children, then in my opinion, you are an absentee parent. If you have the time to do so many other things, then you have the time to spend with your children.

Naturally, mothers are the nurturers when it comes to parenting, that does not mean that a father should be any less of a parent because the mother “has things under control”. Children need both parents, whether or not they are single, engaged, married or divorced. Although, there are a lot of people who grow up in single parent homes who turn out to be just fine as people who have both parents. I can’t speak for everyone else when I say, that it does have a mental effect on a person. This said person can be a very successful lawyer, with a very good heart who may have grown up with just a mother. Just because he/she may be successful, that doesn’t mean that this person may not wake up everyday feeling terrible that he/she had an absentee parent. Regardless of what anyone says to me or how anyone may feel, my personal opinion is that marriage doesn’t always mean that a child will be guaranteed a fulfilling life. Both parents have to be happy with themselves and with each other to pull off being a married couple with children and make it all work out. It’s a huge responsibility being a parent regardless. Logically, I could never understand why people choose to be terrible parents. Our children are our future. I look into the eyes of my children everyday and they give me something to live for. They motivate me to wake up everyday and do my very best to make sure that they have a good life. My life is definitely not peaches and cream. I have been through so many things and it has never stopped me from doing what I need to be doing as a parent.

Oh the films…